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Personal

Legalese

It sounds crazy, but I love my AMEX card. I don’t know why, exactly. It could be the phenomenal rate of Hilton HHonors points I get for each $ I spend. The friendly service when I call helps, too. Their website is one of the better credit card sites, with the ability to drill down to more detail on each purchase. And the card is shiny, too. I mean, who doesn’t love shiny things?

So, when I received a letter in the mail from Amex, I was actually excited.

I opened it, then began reading.

Dear Christopher Dymek:

Thank you for being part of the Premium Car Rental protection plan offered exclusively to American Express Cardmembers. The plan is a good way to protect you while renting a vehicle. We are writing to inform you of changes to you coverage that will take effect on December 18, 2006.

As of the effective date noted above, the Master Policy for your Premium Car Rental Protection will change and coverage will be issued under Master Policy AX0610.

Ok, I thought to myself. That sounds fair enough. So what, exactly are these changes? I kept reading.

As an added service to you, we have also included enhancements to the product. Changes include, but are not limited to:

  • Added Loss of Use Coverage
  • Changes in the Definitions section
  • Changes in the Exclusions section

Additions and changes? Are there any specific changes, since changes include but are not limited to those areas above, at least according to the letter.

So I kept reading.

Please note that your per-rental premium will remain the same.

Well, at least one thing isn’t changing.

We have enclosed the Plan documents for Premium Car Rental Protection that state the benefits and changes outlined in this letter. Please read this information carefully and replace your current Plan documents with the ones that are enclosed as of December 18, 2006.

If you have any questions regarding these changes, please call…

So AMEX sent me a letter telling me there are changes, and then a legalese addendum that doesn’t actually say exactly what changed. In short, AMEX unilaterally changed their product and then wants me to compare this to the original document to find out what exactly the differences are.

I don’t get why companies are allowed to get away with this. Is it so hard to write a straightforward letter saying “Before the change you had X, and after the change you’ll have Y”. Plain English that is easily readable goes a long way. I hate the way companies, particulately the financial services companies, cram important information in unreadable documents and then expect that consumers should be able to understand these notices.

In any event, though, they do make fun reading. Take this as an example.

“Board” or “Boarding” means being in the direct and immediate act of entering the seating compartment of the Rental car. Once a person is sitting in the Rental Car, the act of Boarding is completed.

I wonder how many hours some lawyer billed for coming up with that paragraph?

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Personal

Finally Family Cirus Gets Funny

Someone decided to remix the awesome power of Nietzche’s quotes with the single pane “funny” of Family Circus to come up with an improved version that is downright hillarious. After a few refreshes through the list, it becomes frightening how well the two line up.

Some of my person favorites are below.

Is life not a thousand times too short…
We must be physicists…
All truly great thoughts…
The best weapon…

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Personal

Scenes from the Rutgers Locker Room

ESPN showed some video from the Rutgers locker room after their win over USF Friday night, which some posted to Youtube. Check it out while it’s still there.

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Personal

Lonelygirl as Art

So, in case you haven’t heard but actually cared, Loneygirl15 was a fake.

And, although I wasn’t shocked to find out, it really does become quite dull once the mystery is taken out of the story.

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Personal

TiVo Jerks

So, I’m all excited to place my TiVo order. I get online Tuesday around 7:30 am, place the order, even opt for 2 day shipping in order to get it by Friday. The order is processed by around 11 am.

And then, nothing.

No e-mail with a shipping update.

No tracking number.

So I check the website. Where it says the box should ship within 24 to 48 hours. And to call if it has been more than 3 business days.

I take their advice and call. Wade through the mindless voice recognition prompts. Wait on hold for a half hour.

All to be told it hasn’t shipped yet.

Jerks.

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Personal

Language

I finally stumbled on one of my old favorite international commercials on Youtube. I knew it had to be out there somewhere.

Now, if you’re looking for variations on a theme, this video below had us cracking up at work today.

I think it beats my old favorite hands-down.

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Personal

Cycles

Tomorrow will be an exciting day, one of the twelve times a year this day comes around. Each month around this time, my credit card closes a billing period and issues a statement. This affords me a week-long period where I have an open spending period but no statement yet, which is sheer bliss for such a dedicated consumerist such as myself.

Less you think otherwise, I’m not worried about debt or living paycheck to paycheck. I just like to balance my…balance over the course of a year, with no one month being significantly higher than any other.

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Standing in Line

You learn something every day. For instance, it hadn’t dawned on me that you don’t get any impulse purchases in a line of ninjas.

This, and other great facts, can be found at Ask a Ninja.

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Personal

High Class Exhibitionism

As if you needed any more proof that the Internet is a crazy place, try browsing the YouTube Video Groups section. While you’re there, don’t miss this.

That’s right. “Girls on the potty”. Seriously, wtf? Why would you film and then share that on the Internet with total strangers? And why would anyone want to WATCH???

Crazy, crazy world man.

Update: If that’s not good enough for you, the mummification group is right below it.

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Personal

Spoofing on the LonelyGirl15 Saga

One of the semi-clever video spoofs based on the LonelyGirl15 saga.

It’s no Mortal Peeps Fight, but not everything can be, I suppose.